So Very Happy
by pussycatwithattitude
Summary: Continuation of the cottage scene in S5E7. Their troubles are seemingly behind them, and Anna and Bates are so very happy.


**A/N: **A continuation of the cottage scene in the latest episode. Because whilst it was perfect, I had an idea that I could not let go. The title is reference to S5E6 because when Anna said that I think my heart broke into a million tiny pieces. They are happy now and I love it. So this is me indulging myself. It's probably not entirely fluff, there are references to how Anna feels about everything,but as we finally see Anna starting to overcome her fears I think we can assume that she is starting to recover and it's not explicit. I hope I've been able to convey that in a good way – I have been really worried about writing this sort of thing ever since Series 4 aired so please let me know what you think. And I hope you enjoy! Plenty of Baby Bates talk.

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><p><span><strong>So Very Happy<strong>

"_What would I do without you?" _

She was adamant that he would never have to know. He would never have to experience life without her, as far as she could control. It made her heart ache inside to think of life without him now, after everything they had come through. After the last few days and after the revealing conversation, she had felt a heavy cloud lift over them and the sun was finally able to shine down upon them with no restrictions. After the tribulations the two of them had overcome in their lives together, they finally seemed to be thinking about their future _like a normal couple_.

They could think about his mother's old house and the rent, they could think about their old dream to buy a little hotel in the area and work together, surrounded by their children. _Children_. Even the thought of children was a step in the right direction for her. This time two years ago she would never have been able to entertain the thought of relations with her husband again, much less being able to bring their child into the world. But not through a lack of wanting. Never that. It never failed to please her that she and John had managed to push through that time in their lives and to come through at the other end of the tunnel. Of course she would be naïve if she thought _he _would be completely behind them now, it just wasn't true. He tended to rear into their lives when she least expected it, and the recent police investigation had not helped at all. She had lost count of the times she had woken in the night, either from having been thrashing around in bed and finding her husband's comforting hand upon her shoulder, or when she would simply wake in a cold sweat, suddenly aware of her surroundings and frantically checking the doors and windows were locked and that no one was hiding around the cottage or in their wardrobe.

But she was slowly beginning to push past it all. Anna was finally beginning to feel like she was coming out into the light. She could now say his name – Mr Green – without feeling like she wanted to hide away and never leave John's side. It still made her feel sick, but nowhere near as much as it once had.

And Anna was proud of herself. She was incredibly proud of herself and she could sense that John knew too. He would often smile at her for the most simplest of things, and she knew that he was proud of her too. Whenever there were loud noises at work and she would barely flinch, both of them knew it was a huge step for her.

There were some things that they had to change in their lives. Whilst John had used to like sneaking up behind her and pressing gentle kisses to her neck whenever she returned home before him at night, he knew if he did that now her jump in surprise would have almost ten times the effect on her. And whenever they made love, he ensured that he was extremely gentle with her hair. She had never revealed it to him, but he saw her flinch the first time they had made love after the attack when he had gently tugged on her hair as he had used to. He also made sure to worship her body with kisses whenever they made love now, to wreath her body in kisses and to ensure that she knew how much he adored her and how safe she was with him. How he would never let anyone hurt her again.

Anna looked over and smiled at her husband, looking so at peace with the world, despite all of the trouble now with Miss Baxter. She hated that she felt some sort of contempt for the woman, because she did like her, but after learning that she had told the police about her and Mr Bates, it had felt like a betrayal of sorts. She would have expected that sort of behaviour from Mr Barrow, and Miss O'Brien when she had still been here, but not Miss Baxter. And after all of her fears that John would be hanged if the police believed he had committed the crime and even had some incline of evidence to go against his favour, she had not been able to let it go like she used to. This was her husband's life on the line. It was _her _life on the line. This was the reason she had kept so many truths from him for so long – this was the reason that their secrets had almost torn them apart – and now it just felt like even more people were set against their happiness.

John had discarded his collar and tie – a regular practice at home in their cottage of course – but Anna never tired of seeing it. He looked so at peace in their cottage, some of the only times that he did. His shirt sleeves rolled up and his legs outstretched, Anna could feel the familiar stirrings in the pit of her stomach. And it thrilled her to feel this after once thinking that she might never again.

And the constant talk of children made her heart skip. For so long the matter had been pushed to the shadows as for so often the two of them had not been in the position to even think about it, but now it was an entirely different story. It still brought happy tears to her eyes when she thought about the night a few weeks ago when John had playfully started to draw up a list of potential baby names. Anna had initially teased him, saying that she wasn't even pregnant yet. But she had humoured him in the end, because it secretly thrilled her that her husband was so fond of the idea of children. And he was so excited at the prospect. She could tell in his eyes that he desperately wanted a child, she assumed because he was growing older now and was becoming even more aware of his mobility as a father if it did ever happen. She also noticed the disappointment in his eyes whenever he noticed her washing the stains from her under garments every month. And she so wanted that to change.

_Soon_.

She was sure it would be soon. Anna had once read or heard that pregnancy often depended on the state of mind too, and whilst she knew that she might have been counting all of her luck at once, she had never felt better than she did now. Since it happened, she had never felt better. They had decided on William for a boy, that much was certain. John for his middle name. That much _she _had insisted. They were a little more uncertain about a girl even though John had wanted to call her Anna. She had scoffed and slapped his chest, claiming that if she could not call their son John then there was no chance in hell for Anna if they ever had a daughter.

Anna felt her eyes roving over John as he sat reclined on his favourite chair. Her eyes drifted over his stomach and she stifled a giggle, quite why she did not know.

She felt the sudden urge to go over and join her husband so after drinking the last of her tea she stood up and placed it on the table, "Look at you," Anna cooed, grasping one of his hands and settling herself carefully into his lap, noticing his eyes shining as he proceeded to wrap his arms around her carefully. Anna rested her head on his chest and started to play with his fingers, stroking them gently before her hands moved to his belly. She rubbed her hand over it before giving it a playful poke, "I can tell you've been sneaking Mrs Patmore's biscuits."

Anna heard his chest rumble and suddenly she was being wrapped in his arms, her laughter being stifled in the best possible way. His hands rove over her sides as he began to tease her gently, "Am I being told off, Mrs Bates?"

John relished in the sound of her laughter. It really was the little things now in life that made it all matter.

Finally he stopped, but he did not give her chance to move away before he brushed her lips with the softest of kisses, his hands now stroking her stomach. When he pulled away, he noticed that her eyes were a little red and he instantly moved to stroke her cheek, brushing away a stray tear on her cheek.

"Anna?" he asked, concerned.

Anna looked up at him and smiled. She took his hand once more and stroked her thumb across the back of it before placing a kiss on his knuckles, "I'm fine. I'm just happy."

John Bates felt his heart leap at her admission, as he had a few days ago.

"So am I," he admitted, squeezing her hand. "Even if my wife does try and stop me eating biscuits." He teased her, kissing her earlobe before moving to her neck and then her hair.

Anna laughed and slapped his chest with her hand. "Only when you eat them in the cottage and have crumbs dropping everywhere. It isn't _you _that has to tidy them up." She could hear his mock sigh and shook her head in exasperation. "But you know I love every inch of you."

She turned to face him and saw as he raised an eyebrow. Anna then watched as his eyes softened and his lips curved into the most beautiful of smiles. She suddenly wanted to know the reason why.

"Why are you smiling like that?" she asked curiously.

John felt his smile widen further and he started to speak as his hand came around to rest upon her stomach once more, "I was just thinking… if you do become pregnant. I can imagine you complaining about how big you are, and me saying that there is only more of you to love. Because it would be true." He began to stroke her stomach for effect and Anna had never wanted to be able to give him that news more.

Anna could feel tears in her eyes as she moved her hand to cover his, her other hand coming up to cup his cheek tenderly, her thumb stroking over the stubble of his skin there.

"One day. I promise."

She could see _that _look in his eyes now as he looked away, the look she had noticed whenever they talked about the possibilities of them not being able to fall pregnant. The two of them had only talked about it once or twice but the reality was there. It was a possibility. After all, Lady Mary had needed treatment because of some physical troubles and there was every possibility that she might be in a similar situation. But it was not worth thinking about just yet. They would still keep on trying.

"John," Anna used her finger to turn his face back to her. "Even _if _we can't… if it comes to it, there are other options." John smiled sadly. "We can adopt. There will always be children who need homes. Look at the Drewes when they adopted that little girl." John nodded, his hand now covering hers on his cheek. "And we'd have so much love to give them. Handfuls of it."

"I know," John replied a little hoarsely, his voice now thick with emotion. "But it doesn't stop me longing for it. With all of my heart."

Anna nodded in understanding and, hoping to raise his spirits, she leaned forward and pressed her lips softly to his, "Me too." She felt as he responded to the kiss enthusiastically, and once they had pulled apart a few moments later, she whispered against his lips teasingly, "We could always go upstairs and try." She decided to start playing with the material of his shirt, picking at a piece of thread that had come apart from around one of his button holes. She winked racily. "Increase our chances."

Anna watched as her husband's eyes darkened with pleasure. His hands suddenly became a lot more apparent at her sides as they moved up and down slowly, tracing her hips in a similar routine that they had grown used to in their years together. She sighed as his lips found the sensitive spot of her neck, breathing out shakily as he reached her ear, his teeth teasing gently in a way he knew sent her wild. Then came his throaty term of endearment that would have sent her knees awry had she not been sitting already, "You naughty girl."

Anna let out a long, unsteady breath and suddenly pulled back away from her husband so she could look him properly in the eyes. She stood up without breaking their eye contact and then held out her arm, beckoning for him to join her.

"Take me to bed, Mr Bates."

John responded by standing and pulling her into his arms, causing her to shriek with laughter as he lifted her gently and began to carry her in the direction of the stairs. He joined in with her. Right now they both felt younger than they had in years. And they both were _so very happy_.

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><p><strong>AN: **They both want children so much and I don't think I can take much more of how cute they are. Siiiiiiiiigh. This hasn't really been edited, it was largely a result of me procrastinating this afternoon, so sorry if there are any mistakes!


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